Obsidian Eagle's Blasphemous Bazaar - avant-garde poetics, indie publishing, nom-de-plume

Obsidian Eagle's

Blasphemous Bazaar


META-Poems For A New Millennium

<br>META-Poems For A New Millennium<br><br>

The Flagship of Anti-Poetry — est. 2010





Thirsty Thyrsus

Thirsty Thyrsus



Hey ἙPMH∑ [Hermes]!

Drop the caduceus

Pick up brother Bacchus

Bartender please beer us

It's time to get raucous

Err day 365 we invite:

ABPAΞA∑ [Abraxas]

&

MEIΘPA∑ [Mithras]

Comboozelated cathexis

From dawn 'til the sun sets

Rocking riffs off rad axes

None on par with our tactics

Death is sure as are taxes

Drain thy goblet and flex thus:

Assemble attention at solar plexus

Dionysian Will to Apollonian Nexus!

Smorgasbord of Slogans

Smorgasbord of Slogans


According to the 'pro-filers'


You're either this, or a that


Nervous *tic*


Trifling gnat


Whose twitchy feelers


Appeal only to deaf ears


ADHD of sketchy dealers


Here's a tit for your tat


Feather tip for top hat:


~ Flow with ALL and adapt ~


Avoid any word-defilers;


Those sophistical Mephistos


Whom the philistine adores


Out of sorts behind closed doors


Many Hamlets | Few Horatios


Mix eye of newt with wing of bat


Freestyle skit becomes scat


Got your tongue now kitty cat!


Bounce Back Rate

Bounce Back Rate


Leaving so soon?

But you only just got here!

C'mon now, give us a chance

To show off our fancy frills...

If you don't stick around

You may never discover

Mind-boggling paradoxes

And tongue-twisting thrills with

Turns of pedantic phraseology

Here comes a prime example:

70% of those who came before

Backed out daunted by doubts

But you're not like them are you?

Stick around until the deed is done

Good things wait for those who come.

That may seem like a fine place to stop

Though isn't it great when a song dies down

Then suddenly resurges for a final STOMP?!

You might not know it but Poetry knows you

You'll probably miss us as we bid thee adieu

"Bounce Back Boo — Nothing else left to do"

Bounce Back Rate Is Bad
Come on back soon, ya heard?

Pandemic Dream Theater

Pandemic Dream Theater


The one where you're walking through the park with some random C-list celebrity that you normally don't even think about. Yet here they are, explaining life's great mysteries to you (more or less in your own words), while pushing around a cart full crap like a homeless person.

Or perhaps you find yourself in what appears to be North Korea, where jets drop deafening bombs on the mountainside, which shoot up tall geysers of dust that hang in the air for almost a minute. Then the Grand Matriarch arrives with her retinue of ladies and proceeds to publicly humiliate you in front of your friends and fellow tourists. You can't understand a word they're saying — but their meaning is made quite clear by the lash of bamboo against your bare back!

Elsewhere at another time, you're hanging a painting in an atelier when lo and behold, a pesky ex with whom you haven't had sex in many years walks in. They just stand there with a smug expression, which you do your best to ignore as you finish what you're doing. However, when they're about to leave, you can't help asking: 

"Excuse me, but have you gotten taller?"

"No, but I have gotten a lot richer!"

Your family (who've been sitting off to the side on some sofas the whole time) finds this very amusing and laughs loudly at your predicament. So you follow your old flame out the door and soon discover that they're in the middle of filming a movie somewhere nearby. You get offered a bit-part, which you accept. But since you outshine the other starlets in the studio — the director kicks you off set! Next thing you know, you're in an alleyway smoking joints with another out of work actor and reminiscing about your short-lived cinematic career.

Finally, there's that dream you dare not speak of for fear it may come true... A chartered bus comes to your neighborhood at the crack of dawn. Everyone's confused regarding what's going on, but both you and your neighbors are effectively herded onto the Greyhound by military men in black tactical attire.

A little later, you're all led single-file into what looks to be a factory facility. During the shuffle, you end up budding in front of your closest neighbor. Once inside, it soon becomes evident that this is no ordinary warehouse. You can hear the industrial whir of metal in the distance, although it's coupled with bloodcurdling death cries. These unnerving sounds only get louder while everybody winds down the corridors of a concrete labyrinth. Your palms begin to sweat and your heart pounds because sure enough, as you round the penultimate corner, blood splatters against the wall!

There's no escape; the guards make sure of it. The poor sucker in front of you tries to run but gets thrown into the abattoir against his will. The noise is sickening. Knowing that your fate is sealed, you turn to your neighbor with a shit-eating grin on your face and ask:

"So, do you want your spot back?"

You shrug off the guards and voluntarily step forward (legs trembling) into the buzzing blades — white light engulfs your senses 


* WIDE AWAKE *

Slalom!

Slalom!


The style guide of tomorrow
Isn't the same as today's.

Try to keep up slo-mo
Or we shall have to part ways.

Being at the center
Listen for gaps in between 

The artsy and the ritzy can be hard to tell apart.

Let's meet somewhere in the middle.
Go ahead, get a head start...

Oh hi again, how you been?
Air's quite keen from here on out.

Now like a washed up itsy-bitsy, we're winding wildly down spring's *spout*

Renegade Rollick

Renegade Rollick


- I -

The Poet is naught but a void

Wherein verbosity flourishes.

Or haven't you heard?

Empty pots make the loudest sound!


The Poem becomes a playground

Of deviant figures of speech; unusual suspects.

Like teens beating around suburban bushes

We were once ragamuffin rejects.


- II -

You shouldn't need anyone else to tell you

When your outer Being shines brilliant

Cause incendiary flare draws moths to its flame.

Such a soul blisters as does the scorching core of Earth's native Sol.


These misuses were self-taught by this tributary thrall of The Muses

Why not flaunt them for others who would benefit from what their art disabuses?

Divorce thy narrowed mind of all those erroneous views

Only then canst thou benefit from nouveau linguistic news...


- III -

As for the average reader

Yous nothin' but a basic BISCH

Whose tracks are always shallow.

Instead: Donne nous de la Différance


Pourquoi? Because for far too long

The proverbial playing field has lain fallow

So get cooking with this kitschy kitchenette set

Or never darken our doorstep again with your shadow!


- IV -

Oh you know what they say:

"He's just a hack!

Thinking he can reinvent the wheel —

The sheer nerve of some people!"


Well then, drink deep of these Ent-draughts little Hobbits

That you may one day grow up to scale

Them Promethean heights yonder way

Where lowbrow repartee, no longer holds sway...


<b>⚕</b>

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* Except on Wall of Worthies
whereon rights are retained by respective authors.