Obsidian Eagle's Blasphemous Bazaar - author central, anti-poetry, indie author

Obsidian Eagle's

Blasphemous Bazaar


META-Poems For A New Millennium

<br>META-Poems For A New Millennium<br><br>

The Flagship of Anti-Poetry — est. 2010 (Author Central)





It's Festivus For The Rest of Us!

It's Festivus For The Rest of Us!


Strip down that tinsel tree to its bare aluminum pole.

Behold it has a very high strength-to-weight ratio.

Let the Airing of Grievances commence around the table.

Got a lot of problems with you people, and you're gonna hear about it!

Savor some meatloaf served on a bed of lettuce during dinner.

Up next come Feats of Strength; pin the patriarch or we continue.

Festivus YES — Bagels NO — Hey! No bagel, no bagel, no bagel ...

Don't be two-faced about the whole thing. Stand under good lighting.

If you buy nothing this season, it'll be a Festivus miracle!

All proceeds this year will go to the Human Fund: Money For People.

Lexicography 2015

Author's Note: For a more complete listing of this year's Neologisms, please refer to > OXFORD & OXFORD.



Lexicography 2015


A is for autotune, let it lie to your ears.

B gets a bukkake  (if bae doesn't ask, don't tell).

C took a carnap. Wake us up when we're there.

D needs a double-double. We'll take it to go.

E gave up smoking for e-cigarettes. Enough said.

F feels an urge to fap. Not so fleek. *facepalm*

G's gone to the grow-op. Now legal in two states.

H is home to the hyperlocal. A hot mess contained.

I brings forth an internaut; diving down deep web.

J models its jeggings. Nouveau fashion faux pas.

K keeps it kikay, with her makeup and yoga pants.

L ended up lotless. Still got more than Q and X.

M amounts to meh. It's either that or matchy-matchy.

N has been nanosized. A lesser evil if punned.

O may be on-trend  but also going off-grid.

P promotes another pageview by photobombing.

R requires a retweet because ranga lives matter!

S sees to it that sexting comes first fo'shizzle.

T translates to twerking, which twitterati enjoy.

U ought to be aware uber- received prefix status.

V verifies victory for the vape heads, exhaling vog.

W witnesses a webisode on ways to waterboard.

Y says yaaas, it's almost over. Yelp review after.

Z flaunts Zef style since Die Antwoord made it BIG.


~ Now you know speaking decrees ~
~ Next time think before using these ~

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