Author's Note: This piece is an Antipoetic follow-up to Kathleen Radigan's original Irrelephant.
May the court hear out this litigant
And find rolling rhymes quite resonant.
In case there is any contaminant
Cause and effect might be concomitant.
So if you feel vexed by an irritant
Judge who's thoughts are dominant:
Those of the people's President
Or yourself, a hapless celebrant?
Let's try to stay pertinent
Although nothing can rest permanent.
Stagnant water tastes acrid; aberrant
From poison well dug by the petulant.
Counteract with mots magniloquent
Lest somebody think us ignorant.
We the jury figure one defendant
Isn't sufficiently militant to prove significant!
¿Specimen frequently tangential and insolent
Totally dependant like diabetics on insulin
Discipline using strict regimen until excellent
¡Everything evident renders verdict relevant
Image: Tolkien's Oliphant (a.k.a. Mumakil) by StockmanArt.